Fresh Start: A Small Town Gay Romance (Cedarwood Beach Book 1) Read online

  I had to apologize. It was the least I could do. But before I did, I’d have to let Leo calm down first. And while I was at it, I had to calm down myself too.

  My hand hung limply over the plate, and I let the croissant take a dive. After everything, it tasted bitter and inedible.

  “Is everything all right, Dawson,” Melody came over and said in a whisper.

  I turned to her and smiled. "Couldn't be better," I sighed.

  Four

  Leo

  I raced down the stairs and shut my bedroom door behind me with such force, the whole building quaked.

  My hands were shaking so much that my bones could have come out of their sockets. I couldn't let Dawson get under my skin. I was an adult, goddammit, and I could deal with my emotions.

  In fact, it was embarrassing to think I’d stormed out like that and let him be the bigger man.

  I rubbed my face and took deep breaths. The more breaths I took, the more my heartbeat slowed.

  A knock on the door reverberated through my body, and I turned to answer.

  “Leo, what the hell happened up there? Why did you run off?” Melody said.

  “I—it was nothing. I just wasn’t that hungry,” I said, and my stomach chose that moment to betray me and grumble in protest.

  “Then why are you both flustered? Do you know Dawson Eldred?” she asked.

  “No,” I answered before my body betrayed the real answer, too, and I tried to close the door, but Melody slapped her hand against it.

  “This is a very expensive door, so I’d rather you didn’t slam it. Besides, it’s rude to close the door on someone when they’re not done talking to you. Mom taught you better,” she said.

  I apologized and propped the door open again.

  “Are you going to tell me what happened?” she asked.

  “I don’t know,” I answered her honestly.

  A bell rang outside the room, and Melody turned to look at the end of the corridor.

  “Someone’s at reception, so I’ve gotta go, but we’re not done here, little lion. You will tell me what’s going on between you two later.” Melody raised her finger in my face, and only when I accepted did she turn around to leave.

  I closed the door and took slow steps toward the bed and collapsed on it. When my face hit the mattress and my mouth was muffled by the comforter, I let out a growl.

  Dawson knew how to get my worst self out in the open. I should have said something. That asshole had insulted me, and my response was to run off like a sulking child instead of standing my ground. This was my hometown. He didn’t get to win in Cedarwood Beach.

  Dawson fucking Eldred. What were the chances of bumping into him here of all places?

  The traitor that broke my heart.

  Memories of my early adult life came rushing in. Attending masterclasses from big theatre veterans at drama school. The intense workouts at the dance studio. The singing coaches. The competition. It had been an amazing time in my life. An innocent time. A time that I was allowed to be myself and explore who I was. Remembering those years should make me smile. Those memories would be the best of my life if Dawson hadn't infected them with his poison.

  I remembered it as if it were yesterday. Meeting him on the first day. His tall physique, blond hair, blue eyes. It made me drool. Even now as a thirty-seven-year-old man, the image of young Dawson made me feel like a pubescent schoolboy.

  I’d never felt like this before. So completely infatuated with someone that every one of my waking moments was stolen by the thought of him. After growing up in a small town where everyone kept to themselves trying not to upset the status quo or be the ridicule of the grapevine, Dawson had been like a breath of fresh air in my life. Sharing classes and moments with a guy who was so unashamedly himself had given younger me the confidence I’d needed to be myself.

  It was true, we'd never had a friendship, at least none that was reciprocated, but we'd been close. Until, of course, we'd started sleeping together. Then we grew closer.

  Which is why his betrayal stung even more. I’d never forgotten what Dawson did back then. And I’d never forgiven him. It had been a blessing not seeing him since we left drama school at twenty-one. I couldn't stand the sight of the guy.

  It still hurt as if it’d just happened. His empty promises. Putting his career over me. Two decades later and the pain was still as raw as it was back then. But I guess I’d learned a very important life lesson, and I should be grateful to him for that.

  Do not trust anyone.

  Had that helped me in life? If my relationship with my band members was any indication, no. It hadn't helped.

  I lifted my head off the bed and took another breath. I couldn’t let this happen to me again. Let the negative emotions take over me and put me through the wringer. I couldn’t risk it. If I let the negativity in, there was a risk of the cravings returning, and anything I used to keep them at bay, be it yoga or meditation, it all went out the window and I was at war with myself anew.

  I’d always been more of a spiritual guy than a religious person, unlike my family, but I hadn't fully appreciated the power of spirituality until I had taken the step to accepting my addiction problems, and it was my beliefs and practices that had helped me get back on my feet, stronger than ever.

  Of course, that hadn't been easy, either. And my rocky relationship with the rest of One Shot had made it even harder. While they supported me getting better and fighting my demons, they had their own, and it had become quite obvious they'd had enough of me.

  The fact that they’d been raging religious homophobes had never helped. It had always kept our friendship on a superficial level, and everyone put up with me because of the fame it brought them. I was the voice of One Shot, and no one could deny it.

  It had been meditation and willpower that had made me persevere and come out the other end relatively unscathed. And despite the filthy lies my bandmates had decided to put out there, I’d come out the bigger man. Or so I hoped anyway.

  I had to remind myself I was so close to my dream I could almost taste it, and no one and nothing would get in my way. I’d been waiting for this opportunity my entire life.

  I spent some more time in bed trying to get the events of the morning out of my head. If I was going to ignore Dawson and the ghosts of the past he invoked, I had to get out of here.

  Not that I needed much of an excuse. Today was day one of the Butterfly Festival. And there were events a-plenty to distract me. I had so much mending to do now that I was back home.

  I reached for the festival brochure on my bedside table and leafed through it. The easiest to bond with was definitely going to be Summer. She was too young to know what a shit brother and son I’d been to my family. Besides, she had shown an interest in spending time with me, and considering she was one of three Karagiannis family members that wanted the privilege of my company, it put her on top of my list. Melody was too preoccupied with her B&B, and grandma always kept busy cooking for the festival. There was plenty of time to see them all.

  After a shower and a change of clothes, I left Mel’s place and walked up to my family home. I’d found the perfect event to take Summer to, and it was starting in an hour, so we had enough time to grab some brunch on the way and get to know each other better.

  When I rang the bell, I expected Yaya to answer it, but instead, it was Andy.

  “Hey, bro,” I said and punched his chest gently.

  He wasn’t amused.

  “What?” he said.

  “Oh, come on, Andy. You can’t stay mad at me forever. We both know you’re going to forgive me and we’ll hug it out eventually, so why not save us both the trouble and start already?” I said.

  He scoffed. “That’s very presumptuous of you.”

  “Fancy word. Did Lucy teach it to you?”

  Again, he didn’t laugh. So, humor wasn’t working. Crap.

  “You know, most Greek families just let the hatred simmer under the surface and put up a fa
ke smile,” I said.

  “We’re not most Greek families,” was all he managed, and I shut one eye thinking he was going to slam the door in my face.

  He didn’t. Which was a good sign.

  “What do you want, Leo? I’m busy,” he asked.

  “Is Summer here? She wanted to spend some time together at the festival, and there’s a painting class—”

  “Why would I let my daughter out with you?” Andy asked.

  This macho masculinity he was oozing was getting on my nerves, but I did my best not to let it show. I couldn’t afford to piss him off any further.

  “Because I’m her uncle, and I love her very much,” I said in a very cold manner to match his.

  “She doesn’t even know you,” he said.

  “But you do,” I said and again tried to punch his chest, but it didn’t do anything to ease the tension.

  “Do I? Really? As far as I know, my little brother left us all behind to chase his big dream. Hell, he even changed his name because he hated us so much,” Andy said.

  “That’s not why, Andy. Come on. Karagiannis is a long ass name for an artist,” I said.

  I knew Yaya didn’t like that I’d changed it to Karras when I moved to London, but it had never been a subject of conversation before.

  “Zach Galifianakis didn’t think his name was too long,” he said.

  I threw my hands in the air and gestured for a time-out. Andy could go on like this for hours, and I didn’t have the energy for that. Not after the breakfast experience I’d already had.

  “You’re right, bro. You’re right. Now, will you please let me take Summer to the painting class? Because I’d really like to spend some time with my niece,” I said.

  “Uncle Leo.” Summer appeared behind her dad and ran into my arms before he could stop her. “You came.”

  “Of course I did. I promised you, didn’t I? How would you like to do some finger painting today?”

  Summer clapped her hands together.

  “But first we need to ask permission from your dad,” I said when I saw the glare Andy was giving me.

  “Please, Dad, please. Can I go with Uncle Leo? Can I? Can I?” she said jumping off me and hugging her dad.

  “Summer, you’re nine, not two. Stop it,” he said, but Summer wasn’t defeated. If anything, it made her louder and whinier. I didn’t know her yet, but I thought she was doing it on purpose. “Fine. Fine. You can go. But you better pick up your phone when I call and send me updates of where you are at all times.”

  I stomped my foot on the ground and gave him a soldier’s salute to show him I understood.

  “Don’t worry, there’ll be pictures too,” I said, and as Summer went to put her shoes on, I gave my older brother a kiss on the cheek. To my surprise, he didn’t try to push me off or lean away from me.

  Maybe there was hope for us still.

  Since convincing Andy had taken longer than anticipated, we went straight to the finger-painting class and had fun painting all sorts of butterflies, caterpillars, and even a seagull. Summer was a very creative girl who loved color and glitter—how could anyone not love color and glitter?—and she loved to talk about everything.

  “I hope you’re not upset with Daddy. He’s been like that since Mommy died,” she told me when we walked out of the class with stained hands and lots of paintings to take home.

  “Don’t worry, sweetie. I’ve known your dad for a long time. I know what he’s like,” I said, but I knew it was a lie. I didn’t know him anymore. I only knew the man he used to be.

  “We keep hoping he’ll find another girl to fall in love so he’s happy again, but he works too much,” she said.

  “People tend to work a lot when they lose someone and can’t deal with the pain,” I told her.

  She nodded sadly and dropped her chin to her chest.

  “How about we get some donuts for lunch? With extra icing.” I said, and that brought the smile back on her face.

  “Do you have a girl you love?” she asked me.

  I shook my head.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m more into boys, sweetie,” I said.

  “Oh!” she said and stared at me.

  I tried to interpret her reaction. Did she even know anyone gay in this town? There definitely hadn’t been anyone around when I was growing up, which made my accepting myself all the harder and my need to leave this place more intense.

  “So you’re in love with a boy,” Summer said and let the last word draw out as if she had a secret and teasing me with it.

  “No!” I answered straight away. “No boys. Whatsoever. It’s been a long time since I had the time for love.”

  “Who doesn’t have time for love?” Summer giggled.

  I wished that were true. But it wasn’t just about time, was it? It was about finding the person who was willing to give their everything for you. And you for them. Something that had never happened to me.

  “What do you think we should do tomorrow? There’s a butterfly tour at the center. I haven’t been in a million years,” I suggested before we were interrupted.

  “Summer,” someone said behind us, and we both turned to find a young man in his twenties looking at me through narrowed eyes.

  “Hi Nathan,” Summer said, and his face clicked in my mind.

  Andy’s oldest child. Boy, had he grown. I had held him when he was born and played with him whenever I was looking for an excuse not to do my homework. But then I left Cedarwood Beach to study in New York, and he’d gone and become an adult man himself.

  I greeted him and offered him my hand. Once he heard my name, his face softened, and he smiled at me.

  “Of course. The lion that left us behind,” he said, and I sighed. “I’m just messing with you. Dad is tough with everyone these days. I’m glad to finally meet you.”

  That made things easier. The fewer people angry at me, the more time I could dedicate to fixing my relationship with Andy and Luke.

  “We’ve actually met already, but you were a baby, so you wouldn’t remember,” I said.

  “Ah yes, you’re the diaper changer. I remember you distinctly actually,” he said, and I raised an eyebrow at him.

  “You do?”

  Nathan laughed and Summer giggled.

  “God, no. But considering half the town boasts about changing my diapers, I thought I’d take my chances,” Nathan said.

  “Funny kid,” I said. “Are you sure you’re Andy’s?”

  Nathan shrugged. “Probably not, but don’t tell Andy. It will crush him.”

  We all burst out laughing, and a few of the tourists walking around with face paint on turned to look at us.

  “We were headed for donuts for lunch. Want to join us?” I asked him, and he did.

  While breakfast had been such a disaster and my second confrontation with Andy had gone worse than the first, it ended up being a fantastic afternoon. Nathan filled me in on a lot of the things I’d missed, like the fact that Maya had gone off on her first vacation with her girlfriends before starting college this fall, and how Melody had almost got married until the guy walked out with all her money, and then Yaya being in the hospital for a couple of weeks after a mini heart attack a few months ago. Charlie, my younger brother, had also been in critical condition after a car accident, and my dad had lost a lot of money in the stock market, which was why he was constantly away trying to recoup his losses.

  I didn’t know why I knew none of this. How could Melody not tell me about her engagement and the asshole that ran with her savings? How could Yaya not tell me about her hospital scare? Why had no one bothered to tell me about Charlie’s accident?

  It hurt finding out like this. My stomach was tied in knots trying to listen and not become enraged for being kept in the dark.

  Had I lost their trust so completely that they kept everything from me? Did they all hate me?

  Hell, after finding out everything I’d missed, I couldn't blame them.

  By
the time we were done with lunch, I just wanted to go to my room and cry. But I still had Summer to entertain, so I put on a brave face and we walked toward Melody’s at Summer’s request so she could see her aunt.

  Melody was still busy with guests, so Nathan and I took her around the front where she could play at the beach.

  “Want a beer?” Nathan asked me when we sat down on the sand, barefoot, right as the sun was starting to set.

  The colors of the sky were a magical red and purple, and it was hard not to feel soothed by it.

  “I—I don’t drink. Recovering alcoholic,” I said.

  “Oh, shoot. Sorry,” Nathan said, but I waved for him to stop.

  “I’ll have a Coke if you’re grabbing yourself a drink,” I said.

  He nodded and left for the guesthouse, and I turned back to the beach and Summer. Only Summer wasn’t there anymore.

  “Summer,” I shouted and jumped up, circling around myself in an attempt to find her.

  “Over here,” I heard her say and saw the silhouette of both her hands waving at me.

  I ran to her as fast as I could, and when I got to her, sitting behind a palm tree, she was not alone.

  “Look who I found. Detective Strong!” she said.

  Five

  Dawson

  When I knocked on my parents’ door an hour after the breakfast fiasco, the entire extended family paraded out of the house in their swimsuits and straw hats. It occurred to me that my parents might have made plans for the week, and I had not even bothered to ask or check with them.

  Well, I was doing it now, and if they didn’t have the time for me, that was okay. I still had a book to read, and if that didn’t work for me, I could always go for a swim or participate in one of the gazillion activities in town.

  My aunt and uncle drove off in their black sedan, and I walked into the quiet house. Were Mom and Dad even here? I walked into the back where they had received me last night to find Mom loading the dishwasher.